five-o

Just over 5 years ago I was walking my brains out. I was due any day and had heard that walking helped. Josh and I walked around the west side of Lethbridge until I could walk no further, and then we turned around and somehow I made it home. That night around 2 am my water broke. We went to the hospital only to be sent back home. "Get some rest," they said, "its gonna be awhile." While my contractions were few and far between, I don't remember getting a wink of sleep.

So we went back in the morning, around 8 or so. Still not much happening, but this time they wanted us to stay at the hospital. My contractions were hurting more, but still farther apart. We spent the whole day there. Walking around and waiting. Waiting and walking around. I was bound and determined to do this thing without drugs. By 10 o'clock that night, still, we were waiting, and my Dr. recommended we use some drugs to help this baby move a little. She said it was the same drugs as inducing, but it was called an augmentation because I was already in labour. I remember saying to her "I'll have the augmentation," as though I were ordering something delightful at the restaurant. I remember her (the doc) laughing. Then the laughing stopped!

My dear nurse had to give me an IV in my hand to give me the oxytocin. Two misses through two tough contractions later, and someone else had to come in to give me the IV. At least this time it worked like a charm. I can remember the first contraction after getting the augmentation: OUCH. The next one: YIKES!! I promptly asked for some drugs. No epidural, just some nice morphine. While the morphine did help some, I recall thinking "This is it? I can still feel everything!" But those were my last coherent thoughts. From then on, all I did was slip in and out of sleep, waking to each contraction with my eyes closed and searching for Josh's hand so I could warp it and bend it and maim it. Josh told me later that I would want him to rub my back with his other hand, and I would yell at him that he was on my spine and to get off my spine. He said his fingers were as far apart as possible, and was nowhere near my spine.

Finally, sometime just after 2 in the morning I was able to hold my baby boy. We didn't know he was a boy. All that work and he was finally here. I started to remember things again. He was so cute, and I was so happy..... and tired. I remember holding him as they wheeled me to my room and thinking he weighed so heavy.

I want to go on and on remembering things about him those first few months. Like when I thought the soft spot in his head was growing and I was convinced his head was gonna crack open any second. He smelled like a newborn for the longest time. He laughed so early and was always so ready and willing to laugh. (I thought every kid was like that - but since having more kids realize that was a gift). He was a very happy, easy going baby, and has turned into the same sort of boy. Happy birthday Levi.

I sure love you!